I Wanted Pie... But All I Got Were These Poo Cookies

I have a thing for pie… in the Winter.

It's the perfect Winter dessert.... warm with some milk!  Mmmmm...

Or it may have something to do with the fact that my mother buys at least 25 pies for each family get together we have over the holidays… so there is usually more than enough pie (for an army) to go around for at least a few weeks after the holidays are over.

Well… not so this year.

I have no pie.

Dustin brought home a few of those Hostess pie empanada things you get at 7-11 last week… a cherry and an apple (which are really the only two flavors of pie I will eat).

They were alright… but that’s like giving someone grape juice when they ask for a glass of wine... it just won't do!

Obviously it didn’t fill my pie craving.  So the craving just got worse and worse. 

Soon I was moping around in a pie-induced daze.

Every time Dustin would get up to get some food, I'd yell "Get me pie!".  (I kid you not, I'm obnoxious.)  He of course ignored my pie-withdrawl outbursts, and most of the time answered with "Get your own (there may have been an expletive thrown in here for emphasis a few times) pie!".

So since I had no pie in the house, and was too lazy to go out in the cold to get some, I decided to improvise.  This is often my solution when I can't find or get something I want; I find a way to make it.  Or something closely resembling it.

I skowered the house for ingredients… one’s I could somehow fashon into some sweet baked goodie that may possibly substitute for my pie craving.

"Oooh I found sugar cookie dough in the freezer!" Score!

I knew we had random chocolate type candy left over from Halloween and stocking stuffers…

So I thought it would be an ingenious idea to add them together and see what creation I could make!

Enter… Poo Cookies.

Steps to Making Poo Cookies:

#1. Heat oven to 350 (or whatever it says on the back of your cookie dough package)

#2. Cut your cookie dough roll into slices 1/4” thick 

#3. Roll each slice into a ball (you may need to let sit for a while to allow the dough to soften if it had been in the freezer).

#4. Space out your cookie balls on an ungreased cookie sheet

#5. Cut your candy bar into 1/2" pieces or unwrap whatever candy you want to use (In this case I had found a Snickers bar and some Ferrero Rocher candies).

#6.  Now, place your candy into the cookie balls, and make sure they are in there pretty good.  Also, make sure the bottom is all cookie dough, so no chocolate melts through the bottom.

#7. Place them in the oven for 8-12 minutes.  Let cool one minute, and then enjoy!

The Poo Cookies were a completely new thing to me and a little challenge! I lost two cookie dough balls (pictured with chocolate covered Animal Crackers, below) and one fully baked Poo Cookie to my clumsiness. But not all was lost... Dustin liked um!

You can make Poo Cookies with really any type of dough you want and any type of candy you can find. I think chocolate candy is by far the best bet, but experiment! I’d love to see what kind of combinations you could come up with. Maybe some chocolate chip cookies with Lemonheads or Jaw breakers? On second thought... eww… no!

 Poo Cookie Issues:

• Apparently this cookie dough spreads out and puffs up quite a bit while cooking.  But when it cools, it flattens out and ends up looking a little weird, especially with those huge Ferrero Rocher candies on top!
• And as it turns out, since the dough sprawls out like a sleeping drunk, the only acceptable way to eat them is to fold them in half (like a New York pizza).
• I think next time I'll try putting them in a cupcake pan or something so the cookies don't spread out so much!  Speaking of: how do people make those Hershey's Kiss cookies so puffy?  Maybe I need to bake the dough and wait to place the candy on top until right when I pull them out of the oven?  Got any advice?  I could surely use it.

So much for the Poo Cookies... I still want pie. 

Luckily Dustin bought me the pie pictured at the top of this blog a couple days later!  :)  It was devoured within a few days, and now I want even more pie!  I have issues...

~ Stephanie Alicia


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